Been Awhile

Sorry its been so long since I've checked in. I promised that my next post would be more upbeat. So...I've been waiting for my mood to get there. Its not there yet but I will spare you as much as I can.
We ordered our new couch and love seat the other day so that is very exciting. It was really neat to get to choose our own fabrics and I think it will turn out really well. We will see in another 6-8 weeks.
What else is new...Duke is feeling much better. we've decided that she is having a false pregnancy so we need to get her bred or get her fixed so we've added that to our list. We also decided that feeding her three egg yolks a day is a little to much for our little doggie so she only gets one new and has to share with the neighbor dogs. She has been very lively and playful so its nice to have her acting normal again.

I have been having drama with my parents so that has been weighing on my mind alot, dragging me down. On top of that I just want my husband to be more loving in the sense of emotionally towards me. He doesn't understand what I mean and it just hurts him when I point it out. Being in situations like this just makes me want to pull away and I do. Being married is such a strange experience. I never knew I could hate someone and still love them so much. My husband blames romance movies but it doesn't have to be a standard that men can't live up to. It could be a study guide. If a husband were to sit down and even take notes if that would help there is so much information in one movie. I guess the problem is probably the empathy and having the feelings that the "star" has. Husbands don't connect with the characters like wives would.

I feel myself pulling back into my own little world. Its easy. There is no reason for me to be so separate from my family or so distant from my husband but it is so much easier. Fighting for what I feel gets me know where. Its easier just to shove it under the rug.

Thats all folks, I won't subject you to any more of me today:) Have a good one.