Cheerleaders

I've been having a few deep thoughts lately. I shared one in my last post but today I have a new one. Sorry for the brain food...hopefully my next post will be more entertaining.

I was thinking about who my cheerleaders were. Who is in my corner when I really need them. This past year I had a period of unemployment due to our move and job searching is no fun at all. (If you know anyone in this process right now, please be sure to say something encouraging or heartfelt to them the next time you see them.) It was the first time in my life that I had gone to an interview and not got a job offer. I'd like to add here that I hadn't had many jobs in the first place so that's not saying a whole lot but it still made an impact for me. I was struggling to stay positive with all the bureaucratic junk you have to do for the "interview process" and basically frustrated. I needed someone in my corner. My husband should have been the one to cheer me on, keep my spirits up, make it bearable but he wasn't. My dad sent a text before an interview that I would later get a job from. He said something to the effect of, "You will do great. You are beautiful and smart. You can do anything." Wow...that should have been what I was telling myself in the mirror but leave it to my Dad to remember the interview and to remind me that this was just a process and I was still me. I had qualities that someone would want and that it was just a matter of time. I honestly think of that text at least once a week, knowing that my dad totally thinks that I am great even if no one else does.

There is a reason that I mentioned my husband not being my cheerleader. He had had his own stint of unemployment after graduate college with a degree he didn't want to use. His stint was much longer than mine and he had even less experience getting jobs than I had. He took it very hard. I don't think that I was a very good cheerleader for him. I do remember on more than one occasion talking him up and reassuring him that everything would be fine. But I've been thinking about this more and I think that he as a person, not a spouse, was glad that I had trouble getting a job in our new town. I"m sure I gloated at one time or another that I had never not gotten a job that I had interviewed for and he was happy that I got a taste of failure. I would say that is fair, but is it right?

This is something that I want to work on in our marriage. Being some one's cheerleader is totally different from giving compliments. They can go hand in hand but I feel like this is something that I don't do well. I will give compliments and mean them but I don't encourage my husbands weight lifting even though it is something that is really important to him.

I also really need to do this with with my coworkers and my family. I really feel like I have distanced myself from other people, dug myself my own little hole, and I need to dig myself out of it. And don't get me wrong I think my husband is one of my cheerleaders, he just doesn't do it in a way that I take to heart I think. Newlyweds have a lot to learn about each other. I do feel like my family are the only cheerleaders I have, unfortunately I haven't been lucky in the friends department since highschool but thats a whole other story :)

Do you ever feel like that? Separated from everyone but that its your fault to begin with?
Who do you cheer for?


On a side note of this really long post...Dukie is still a little off. She is not interested in her old or new food. Sticks her nose up to treats that she would normally inhale. She runs around like a little dog should and is drinking water but she just doesn't seem to be interested in food. A has decided that she just wanted to be on a diet so she would fit under the couch again...who knows. We are keeping an eye on her.

Thanks for reading!

~L