Sorry its been so long since I've checked in. I promised that my next post would be more upbeat. So...I've been waiting for my mood to get there. Its not there yet but I will spare you as much as I can.
We ordered our new couch and love seat the other day so that is very exciting. It was really neat to get to choose our own fabrics and I think it will turn out really well. We will see in another 6-8 weeks.
What else is new...Duke is feeling much better. we've decided that she is having a false pregnancy so we need to get her bred or get her fixed so we've added that to our list. We also decided that feeding her three egg yolks a day is a little to much for our little doggie so she only gets one new and has to share with the neighbor dogs. She has been very lively and playful so its nice to have her acting normal again.
I have been having drama with my parents so that has been weighing on my mind alot, dragging me down. On top of that I just want my husband to be more loving in the sense of emotionally towards me. He doesn't understand what I mean and it just hurts him when I point it out. Being in situations like this just makes me want to pull away and I do. Being married is such a strange experience. I never knew I could hate someone and still love them so much. My husband blames romance movies but it doesn't have to be a standard that men can't live up to. It could be a study guide. If a husband were to sit down and even take notes if that would help there is so much information in one movie. I guess the problem is probably the empathy and having the feelings that the "star" has. Husbands don't connect with the characters like wives would.
I feel myself pulling back into my own little world. Its easy. There is no reason for me to be so separate from my family or so distant from my husband but it is so much easier. Fighting for what I feel gets me know where. Its easier just to shove it under the rug.
Thats all folks, I won't subject you to any more of me today:) Have a good one.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Monday, February 20, 2012
Cheerleaders
I've been having a few deep thoughts lately. I shared one in my last post but today I have a new one. Sorry for the brain food...hopefully my next post will be more entertaining.
I was thinking about who my cheerleaders were. Who is in my corner when I really need them. This past year I had a period of unemployment due to our move and job searching is no fun at all. (If you know anyone in this process right now, please be sure to say something encouraging or heartfelt to them the next time you see them.) It was the first time in my life that I had gone to an interview and not got a job offer. I'd like to add here that I hadn't had many jobs in the first place so that's not saying a whole lot but it still made an impact for me. I was struggling to stay positive with all the bureaucratic junk you have to do for the "interview process" and basically frustrated. I needed someone in my corner. My husband should have been the one to cheer me on, keep my spirits up, make it bearable but he wasn't. My dad sent a text before an interview that I would later get a job from. He said something to the effect of, "You will do great. You are beautiful and smart. You can do anything." Wow...that should have been what I was telling myself in the mirror but leave it to my Dad to remember the interview and to remind me that this was just a process and I was still me. I had qualities that someone would want and that it was just a matter of time. I honestly think of that text at least once a week, knowing that my dad totally thinks that I am great even if no one else does.
There is a reason that I mentioned my husband not being my cheerleader. He had had his own stint of unemployment after graduate college with a degree he didn't want to use. His stint was much longer than mine and he had even less experience getting jobs than I had. He took it very hard. I don't think that I was a very good cheerleader for him. I do remember on more than one occasion talking him up and reassuring him that everything would be fine. But I've been thinking about this more and I think that he as a person, not a spouse, was glad that I had trouble getting a job in our new town. I"m sure I gloated at one time or another that I had never not gotten a job that I had interviewed for and he was happy that I got a taste of failure. I would say that is fair, but is it right?
This is something that I want to work on in our marriage. Being some one's cheerleader is totally different from giving compliments. They can go hand in hand but I feel like this is something that I don't do well. I will give compliments and mean them but I don't encourage my husbands weight lifting even though it is something that is really important to him.
I also really need to do this with with my coworkers and my family. I really feel like I have distanced myself from other people, dug myself my own little hole, and I need to dig myself out of it. And don't get me wrong I think my husband is one of my cheerleaders, he just doesn't do it in a way that I take to heart I think. Newlyweds have a lot to learn about each other. I do feel like my family are the only cheerleaders I have, unfortunately I haven't been lucky in the friends department since highschool but thats a whole other story :)
Do you ever feel like that? Separated from everyone but that its your fault to begin with?
Who do you cheer for?
On a side note of this really long post...Dukie is still a little off. She is not interested in her old or new food. Sticks her nose up to treats that she would normally inhale. She runs around like a little dog should and is drinking water but she just doesn't seem to be interested in food. A has decided that she just wanted to be on a diet so she would fit under the couch again...who knows. We are keeping an eye on her.
Thanks for reading!
~L
I was thinking about who my cheerleaders were. Who is in my corner when I really need them. This past year I had a period of unemployment due to our move and job searching is no fun at all. (If you know anyone in this process right now, please be sure to say something encouraging or heartfelt to them the next time you see them.) It was the first time in my life that I had gone to an interview and not got a job offer. I'd like to add here that I hadn't had many jobs in the first place so that's not saying a whole lot but it still made an impact for me. I was struggling to stay positive with all the bureaucratic junk you have to do for the "interview process" and basically frustrated. I needed someone in my corner. My husband should have been the one to cheer me on, keep my spirits up, make it bearable but he wasn't. My dad sent a text before an interview that I would later get a job from. He said something to the effect of, "You will do great. You are beautiful and smart. You can do anything." Wow...that should have been what I was telling myself in the mirror but leave it to my Dad to remember the interview and to remind me that this was just a process and I was still me. I had qualities that someone would want and that it was just a matter of time. I honestly think of that text at least once a week, knowing that my dad totally thinks that I am great even if no one else does.
There is a reason that I mentioned my husband not being my cheerleader. He had had his own stint of unemployment after graduate college with a degree he didn't want to use. His stint was much longer than mine and he had even less experience getting jobs than I had. He took it very hard. I don't think that I was a very good cheerleader for him. I do remember on more than one occasion talking him up and reassuring him that everything would be fine. But I've been thinking about this more and I think that he as a person, not a spouse, was glad that I had trouble getting a job in our new town. I"m sure I gloated at one time or another that I had never not gotten a job that I had interviewed for and he was happy that I got a taste of failure. I would say that is fair, but is it right?
This is something that I want to work on in our marriage. Being some one's cheerleader is totally different from giving compliments. They can go hand in hand but I feel like this is something that I don't do well. I will give compliments and mean them but I don't encourage my husbands weight lifting even though it is something that is really important to him.
I also really need to do this with with my coworkers and my family. I really feel like I have distanced myself from other people, dug myself my own little hole, and I need to dig myself out of it. And don't get me wrong I think my husband is one of my cheerleaders, he just doesn't do it in a way that I take to heart I think. Newlyweds have a lot to learn about each other. I do feel like my family are the only cheerleaders I have, unfortunately I haven't been lucky in the friends department since highschool but thats a whole other story :)
Do you ever feel like that? Separated from everyone but that its your fault to begin with?
Who do you cheer for?
On a side note of this really long post...Dukie is still a little off. She is not interested in her old or new food. Sticks her nose up to treats that she would normally inhale. She runs around like a little dog should and is drinking water but she just doesn't seem to be interested in food. A has decided that she just wanted to be on a diet so she would fit under the couch again...who knows. We are keeping an eye on her.
Thanks for reading!
~L
Thursday, February 16, 2012
One More Day
Have you ever thought how sad it is to wish away your time? You only have so much time on this planet and on the grand scheme of things we as humans don't really have that much time at all. I am always counting down the days until the weekend. Counting down for two days that I can be the boss of myself. Counting down until I don't have to set my alarm clock for 6:30. Even when I'm not counting down until the weekend I'm waiting on lunch to get here, then waiting for 5 to get here so I can go home. Then when I'm at the gym, I am forever watching the timer on the treadmill watching the minutes count down from 60.
While I've been sitting here waiting for the clock to move faster towards 5 o'clock I had the realization that our society is filled to the brim with people waiting to punch out and head home. To spend time with their families or friends. To be in charge of themselves. It takes so much out of you as a person to worry about what others are thinking of you, do they know I'm working hard, do they think that I am just waiting for the bell. These habits start when children are so young. As soon as we are taught to read a clock we have our eyes on it waiting for a different time.
I need to focus that energy on something else. I have had this realization and I need to do something different. Find better uses for my time. So that is a new goal today!
Hope everyone had a wonderful Valentines. I got to spend the day driving with my two Valentines. Dukie made a trip with us to visit my parents and go to an appointment. We did some shopping. I had lots of fun but I always do when I get to spend money :) My husband, A, bought me finger nail polish for my gift. He did so good. I love Essie products, they really seem to last longer on the nail. Plus they have a new line of glitter polishes and A picked out the pink glitter and it looks awesome. I love it and it will definatley last longer than any old flowers. Although I would have loved flowers too! A doesn't really like holiday too much, or recieving gifts for that matter so I didn't buy him anything. I made him a handmade Valentine and gave him the go ahead to buy a fiberglass repair kit....I don't know?!?! If my baby's gotta have it, I guess he's gotta have it:)
Dukie didn't recieve a Valentine's gift either this year. She is not feeling well. She doesn't seem to have much of an appetite for most things she would normally eat. Like her dog food or even an egg. She shivers and is very lethargic. We are starting to think she is protesting her food because we didn't buy her something different last time and we've had some kind of wild weather changes lately so hopefully she will be back to her ornery little self soon!
Until Next Time,
~L
While I've been sitting here waiting for the clock to move faster towards 5 o'clock I had the realization that our society is filled to the brim with people waiting to punch out and head home. To spend time with their families or friends. To be in charge of themselves. It takes so much out of you as a person to worry about what others are thinking of you, do they know I'm working hard, do they think that I am just waiting for the bell. These habits start when children are so young. As soon as we are taught to read a clock we have our eyes on it waiting for a different time.
I need to focus that energy on something else. I have had this realization and I need to do something different. Find better uses for my time. So that is a new goal today!
Hope everyone had a wonderful Valentines. I got to spend the day driving with my two Valentines. Dukie made a trip with us to visit my parents and go to an appointment. We did some shopping. I had lots of fun but I always do when I get to spend money :) My husband, A, bought me finger nail polish for my gift. He did so good. I love Essie products, they really seem to last longer on the nail. Plus they have a new line of glitter polishes and A picked out the pink glitter and it looks awesome. I love it and it will definatley last longer than any old flowers. Although I would have loved flowers too! A doesn't really like holiday too much, or recieving gifts for that matter so I didn't buy him anything. I made him a handmade Valentine and gave him the go ahead to buy a fiberglass repair kit....I don't know?!?! If my baby's gotta have it, I guess he's gotta have it:)
Dukie didn't recieve a Valentine's gift either this year. She is not feeling well. She doesn't seem to have much of an appetite for most things she would normally eat. Like her dog food or even an egg. She shivers and is very lethargic. We are starting to think she is protesting her food because we didn't buy her something different last time and we've had some kind of wild weather changes lately so hopefully she will be back to her ornery little self soon!
Until Next Time,
~L
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Tuesday is not fun day :(
I didn't feel like getting out of bed today...how about you?
There was supposed to be a chance of snow for this morning and however unrealistic it sounded I was hoping for a snow day. No...I'm not 7 but today feels like a stay at home, under the covers, and snuggle kind of day.
Its February now and those crazy people who had New Years resolutions of weight loss are still going to the gym. It really cracks me up that Monday is the worst night to go the the gym. Everyone is starting their week off right. Wednesday is probably my favorite night to go because there are still some people there but all of my favorite machines are open. Thursday I skip because I'm not going to try to watch Grey's Anatomy during my workout, that's just crazy. Fridays are the most boring days to go to the gym in my area. Nobody shows up beside the die-hards and me. I only go because that's all my husband wants to do on Fridays. But all in all I am proud of those resolution people because they are still making an effort.
I didn't make a New Years resolution because I can resolve to do something different any day of the year so I don't restrict myself to just New Years. Lately though I have not wanted to go to the gym. I have lost a few pounds since Christmas mostly on accident I think. I don't know if I've been working harder at the gym the days that I have been going or if I am actually losing muscle but to tell the truth I really don't care as long as it doesn't stop. My husband and I have been going to the gym for almost 2 and half years and I hadn't lost any weight until now. I gained and everyone can say its muscle and maybe some of it is but I know some of it is fat. I'm proud of this weight loss whatever it is that I lost. I hope I'm not the only one that feels that way.
Dukie on the other hand is not losing weight. We may have said that we should limit her food scraps. That didn't work out. Dukie loves pizza crust and we love to watch and/or listen to her trying to hide the crusts for later. It is the funniest thing to because because growing up we had lots of dogs but none of them could keep themselves from scarfing something down right then. Dukie spends quite a bit of time finding the perfect spot for whatever she is hiding. The only problem is that if husband or I get too close to where it is hidden she will snatch it up and eat it then. She is very protective of her food so those hidden treasures don't last long.
Thanks for reading~Liz
There was supposed to be a chance of snow for this morning and however unrealistic it sounded I was hoping for a snow day. No...I'm not 7 but today feels like a stay at home, under the covers, and snuggle kind of day.
Its February now and those crazy people who had New Years resolutions of weight loss are still going to the gym. It really cracks me up that Monday is the worst night to go the the gym. Everyone is starting their week off right. Wednesday is probably my favorite night to go because there are still some people there but all of my favorite machines are open. Thursday I skip because I'm not going to try to watch Grey's Anatomy during my workout, that's just crazy. Fridays are the most boring days to go to the gym in my area. Nobody shows up beside the die-hards and me. I only go because that's all my husband wants to do on Fridays. But all in all I am proud of those resolution people because they are still making an effort.
I didn't make a New Years resolution because I can resolve to do something different any day of the year so I don't restrict myself to just New Years. Lately though I have not wanted to go to the gym. I have lost a few pounds since Christmas mostly on accident I think. I don't know if I've been working harder at the gym the days that I have been going or if I am actually losing muscle but to tell the truth I really don't care as long as it doesn't stop. My husband and I have been going to the gym for almost 2 and half years and I hadn't lost any weight until now. I gained and everyone can say its muscle and maybe some of it is but I know some of it is fat. I'm proud of this weight loss whatever it is that I lost. I hope I'm not the only one that feels that way.
Dukie on the other hand is not losing weight. We may have said that we should limit her food scraps. That didn't work out. Dukie loves pizza crust and we love to watch and/or listen to her trying to hide the crusts for later. It is the funniest thing to because because growing up we had lots of dogs but none of them could keep themselves from scarfing something down right then. Dukie spends quite a bit of time finding the perfect spot for whatever she is hiding. The only problem is that if husband or I get too close to where it is hidden she will snatch it up and eat it then. She is very protective of her food so those hidden treasures don't last long.
Thanks for reading~Liz
Friday, February 3, 2012
Its finally Friday
Being Cheap SUCKS!!!!
There's a show on TLC about being cheap and the only episode that I watched gave me nightmares! OK not really but I have no intentions of ever using reusable toilet paper. EVER!! I'm not going to eat goat heads for dinner no matter how much change I did out of the couch. If you haven't seen it you need to at least watch one episode it will make your life feel so much better.
Since watching that show, my husband doesn't look so bad but after trying to buy that house we have decided to do some cutting back ourselves. I had signed on to only one month but have decided to try to maintain the lifestyle of ...poordom. We are avoiding eating out at all costs (unless someone else is paying;) and have cut down our shopping expenses to the necessities. It is so hard on the weekends. Anything that I want to do out of the house leads to spending money. So we stay home and Adam entertains himself in the garage but I am left in the house with two choices: clean or watch Netflix all day long. I try to do a little of both but after a month of this I am ready to see a Target. I haven't had Chipolte since the beginning of December and I feel like I am going to have a break down soon. Maybe not a break down but anyone reading this I hope you know its BAD. I want to buy some fingernail polish.
I know its for the greater good and by doing this we will hopefully get my student loans paid off and buy ourselves a house we will be proud of. But right now, the light at the end of the tunnel seems very dim and I am not ready to spend another weekend waiting to come back to work just to not be at home. Nobody wants to look forward to work that much. Nobody.
So if anyone out there is pinching pennies and feeling the hurt I just want to let you know that I feel your pain. We will get through this!
I hope everyone has a chance to enjoy family or friends this weekend!
~L
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
I told you so!
Well, I said I was going to get better at this blogging thing and for now I wasn't lying :)
We've decided that our poor little Dukie dog is getting a little over weight. She is a really good beggar and waaaay too cute so I'll admit that most of the scrapes go to the little bugger. I just can't help it. She is so patient. She just sits there and stares at me until I give in. Okay...she doesn't wait until I give in because she knows she is going to get something from me but she does have to wait for my husband to look away :) He is almost as bad as me though. He gives her egg yolks in the morning but she'd be pretty lucky to get anything else from him for the rest of the day. I'm here afternoon and evening supplier.
Getting to the point of this soon! I promise :)
We are cutting down on the table scraps for her. No more licking my bowl when I'm done with it. No more hamburger grease in her dog food bowl. I feel terrible about it because I know she doesn't understand why she isn't getting it but don't feel bad for her. She isn't starving. We had to feed her dog food twice yesterday and she ate all of it. Normally that bowl would sit there for 4 days with the pieces of the dog food she is too good to eat at the time. She is definetly filling the void of people food.
Poor Dukie...
Okay not a terribly important post here today but its progress.
~L
We've decided that our poor little Dukie dog is getting a little over weight. She is a really good beggar and waaaay too cute so I'll admit that most of the scrapes go to the little bugger. I just can't help it. She is so patient. She just sits there and stares at me until I give in. Okay...she doesn't wait until I give in because she knows she is going to get something from me but she does have to wait for my husband to look away :) He is almost as bad as me though. He gives her egg yolks in the morning but she'd be pretty lucky to get anything else from him for the rest of the day. I'm here afternoon and evening supplier.
Getting to the point of this soon! I promise :)
We are cutting down on the table scraps for her. No more licking my bowl when I'm done with it. No more hamburger grease in her dog food bowl. I feel terrible about it because I know she doesn't understand why she isn't getting it but don't feel bad for her. She isn't starving. We had to feed her dog food twice yesterday and she ate all of it. Normally that bowl would sit there for 4 days with the pieces of the dog food she is too good to eat at the time. She is definetly filling the void of people food.
Poor Dukie...
Okay not a terribly important post here today but its progress.
~L
Monday, January 30, 2012
Welcome Back!
Well I haven't been doing to good at this whole blogging thing have I?
I'm here now for anyone who might stumble past my little blog :)
Lots has happened since I last posted. OK not that much. I've done a little job changing so I feel like my perspective on life has gotten a little lift. That's been the biggest change. My dear husband and I tried to buy a house pretty recently and I realized how much student loan companies like to ruin your life. Lesson Learned: Don't send your kids to college if they aren't going to use or get a degree. Anyways we got an offer in and someone else got the house for more money than we would have paid anyways. That's the high points anyways ladies and gentlemen.
So since starting a new job away from anything I've done in the last 5 years I've realized I really just don't like working at all. I got a Christmas break and I enjoyed a week of cleaning the house, running errands and sorta cooking a little. I don't really cook...I just prefer recipes that require you to dump things in and stir. That's still cooking right? Anywho since we didn't get the house and there is nothing on the market right now that we would want to live in we are focusing on paying my student loans and car payment done. Hopefully by the time we procreate we will be debt free and I will be able to stay at home. Child care is ridiculously expensive and you're essentially paying some else to raise your child. That's just not something we want to do. So I'm trying to maybe establish myself in a work from home job. Tossing around the idea of doing some children's screen printed shirts. We have a few designs but we want American made tshirts to print on. Let me tell you that has been and continues to be our first big challenge. Find them in cute colors is the biggest hurdle.
I'm excited to do something like this. I would really like to do something on my own but still be able to spend time doing things I like instead waiting for the clock to strike 5. But let me tell you 5 is so much better than waiting for 6 :)
That's it for now ladies and gentlemen. Hope anyone who reads this is well and had a wonderful holiday season. I am hoping to be more present here and maybe get a reader or two:)
Take Care!
~L
I'm here now for anyone who might stumble past my little blog :)
Lots has happened since I last posted. OK not that much. I've done a little job changing so I feel like my perspective on life has gotten a little lift. That's been the biggest change. My dear husband and I tried to buy a house pretty recently and I realized how much student loan companies like to ruin your life. Lesson Learned: Don't send your kids to college if they aren't going to use or get a degree. Anyways we got an offer in and someone else got the house for more money than we would have paid anyways. That's the high points anyways ladies and gentlemen.
So since starting a new job away from anything I've done in the last 5 years I've realized I really just don't like working at all. I got a Christmas break and I enjoyed a week of cleaning the house, running errands and sorta cooking a little. I don't really cook...I just prefer recipes that require you to dump things in and stir. That's still cooking right? Anywho since we didn't get the house and there is nothing on the market right now that we would want to live in we are focusing on paying my student loans and car payment done. Hopefully by the time we procreate we will be debt free and I will be able to stay at home. Child care is ridiculously expensive and you're essentially paying some else to raise your child. That's just not something we want to do. So I'm trying to maybe establish myself in a work from home job. Tossing around the idea of doing some children's screen printed shirts. We have a few designs but we want American made tshirts to print on. Let me tell you that has been and continues to be our first big challenge. Find them in cute colors is the biggest hurdle.
I'm excited to do something like this. I would really like to do something on my own but still be able to spend time doing things I like instead waiting for the clock to strike 5. But let me tell you 5 is so much better than waiting for 6 :)
That's it for now ladies and gentlemen. Hope anyone who reads this is well and had a wonderful holiday season. I am hoping to be more present here and maybe get a reader or two:)
Take Care!
~L
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